5 Ways to get a Girl
by WonderHeroe
Summary: AU: Ven decides to try and get a girlfriend. He asks Terra for help and advise. Oh boy, what adventures will these two go through today? Slight Tequa, Venqua, and Lighrra? TerraxLightning. Just a short series I thought of :P
1. Prologue

Okay! before you dudes and dudets read this... I HIGHLY advise you to watch the video first! Of course... You can read this first THEN watch the viddie, but..whatever.. It's your chose :)

Just go to youtube and search up 5 way to get a girl. The User is called Smosh...It was sooo FiretrUCKING hilarious that I just HAD to make a Terra and Ven parody out of it! xD

Please Excuse any misspelled words, bad grammar, or any wrong punctuations.

Well enough distractions! Let's head onto the story! 8D

* * *

'THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS ONLINE, AND ON OUR SITE!'

Ven sighed in misery watching the happy couples on TV kiss and do romantic things.

'WHAT ARE _YOU_ DOING? YOU'RE PROBABLY SITTING DOWN ON THE COUCH WEARING SOME LAME BLACK AND WHITE SHIRT WITH A..._STUPID_ LOOKING SPIKY HAIRCUT!'

Ven sighed in misery checking himself out, only to see the Commercial narrator was right. He gave a deep miserable depressing sigh before _standing_ up and heading out the living room. He needed to find Terra.

Ven reached Terra's room a few minutes later. He probably would have gotten there in ten seconds flat, but unlike his normal self, he was too depressed to run. And Ven LOVED to run. Ven knocked on the door,

"Hey Terra do-" He paused hearing grunting and soft music playing, his eyes grew wide. "Are you practicing for water ballet again?"

Terra, who stood in the middle of a room wearing a pink tu-tu, grunted in annoyance. "Ugh..No..!"

A split second later, the door opened to reveal a muscular Terra wearing his usual outfit. He glared at the blonde in for interrupting his performance, "What do you want?"

Ven, now uncomfortably shy, shifted his weight on either foot. He stared at his feet before mumbling "Can you..." Ven took a deep breath, "help me get a girlfriend?"


	2. Rule 1

"Okay! So you wanna know how to get a girlfriend?" Terra and Ven was walking through a park, it was a nice and sunny day. The perfect day, in Terra's opinion, to find a hottie. Ven nodded to Terra's question, Terra smirked wrapping an arm around the youngsters shoulder. "All you have to _do_ is act like a _jerk_! Girls eat that crap up like _strawberry cheesecake!_"

"Ahhh," Ven nodded to himself. Both males then noticed a girl jogging down the walk path in their directions. She wore black glasses with a blue jogging suit, and a baseball cap covering her hair. She had headphones on and a bottle of water in her hand.

Terra smirked, "Like this hottie-petotty over here." he patted Ven's shoulder, "Watch and learn my friend~" And with that he ran up to the girl. Little did he know, that girl was actually his _'childhood-friend-crush'_ Aqua..._in disguise._

_**RULE #1:**_** Act like a jerk.**

Terra slid right up to Aqua, stopping her in her tracks. She gave him a weird look, taking off her headphones to see what he wanted. Before she could say anything, Terra gave her a stupid looking seductive grin. "Hey~, can I see your water bottle?"

"Umm su-" Terra snatched the bottle from her hand, cutting her off, before opening it and gulping down the drink. Aqua stared at him as he took _huge_ gulps, not even bothering to breathe, of her water. Choking on some water, Terra pulled the bottle from his lips, but kept it raised high for the water could still fall into his mouth. Aqua was disgusted. Terra choked out(or should I say spit out) water to get a breather before chugging down more, even though he obviously didn't want to. Aqua glared at the man on disbelief; here she thought he was a nice guy, and now he's being a jerk drinking all of her water! Not even bothering to finish what's left in the bottle, Terra then slammed the bottle on the ground, taking in some air before grinning at a confused/glaring Aqua.

"So, you wanna make out?"


	3. Rule 2

"You sure you're alright?" Ven asked worriedly.

Terra turned around, and glared at Ventus. He had a thick pink slap mark on his left cheek.

**LESSON LEARNED: Don't be a Jerk.**

"I'm fine okay?" He then smirked showing Ven two heavy weights in his hands, "Now watch me go impress some girls with my _manliness_."

He closed the trunk of his car stating"C'mon~", before heading towards the park once again. With Ven following all the way. "

_**RULE #2:**_** Show your manliness.**

Cinderella, a classmate of Terra, was standing by a streetlight adjusting makeup when Terra came jogging in circles around her, while lifting weights at the same time.

"Ugh~ woo!" He then came to a halt and leaned on the street pole Cinderella looked up at him, and that's when Terra gave her the most seductive grin that any girl would see. Sadly to his demise, the first thing she saw was a smelly yellow stain under his armpit(shirt)"Hey-"

"Ugh! Eww~!" Terra was taken back, was there something in his teeth? Cinderella fished into her purse and tossed him a deodorant bar. "You should really use some stain guard deodorant or something? 'Cuz yellow stains are like, totally gross!" She then walked away from the man in disgust. Terra stood there confused before looking at the deodorizer then back at Cinderella.

**LESSON LEARNED: Girls hate yellow.**


	4. Rule 3

"So uh...No luck with her either?" Ven smirked to himself, it's nice to see he's not the only one without failing getting a girl.

Terra growled,"Whatever! Okay?" We find our two favorite characters walking through their neighborhood, Terra thought that the park was a little too... '_advanced'_ for Ven. Terra smirked a moment later. "She gave me some _awesome_ stain guard deodorant though!"He rose his arm and moved closer to Ventus, "Here, C'mon- smell my pits."

Ven shook his head his head, saddened once again about not getting a girl. Not to mention that smelling someone pits was just plain disturbing. Especially in public. "Eh, no."

Terra nudged Ven, pushing his armpits closer to his face. "Dude, C'mon Smell my pits!"

"Ven pushed Terra off, getting annoyed. "I don't wanna smell you-!"

_**"SMELL MY DAMN PIT!"**_

The two came to a halt and Ven sighed. _'At least he's wearing a T-shirt.'_ He then eased his face close to Terra's pit and took a sniff. He then came back to his stance wide-eyed.

"WHOA! That actually smells pretty good!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah! See!" Terra grinned widely with his young companion before setting eyes on another girl. She had her back turned on them. She was wearing short shorts(The ones that stop at your thighs,) and was wearing a sweater that was obviously too small for her(skin tight small that is xD). She had long pink fluffy hair that reached her back, she was checking her mail. Her body outfit was out of this world amazing, even though they could only see her back side, all they could stare at was her long slender legs,slim waist side and tight buttocks. With the hair and body resembling Lightning's, Terra couldn't help but think about her. He smirked once again before patting Ven's shoulder.

"Hey, check this out! I'm going to use this trick with this girl," He pointed at the hottie, further down the block, "that I used to get my last girlfriend!"

"Dude she's _hot_!" Ven exclaimed

"C'mon!" Terra smirked pulling Ven with him. He's going to need his help for this one...

_**RULE #3:**_** Use your secret weapon.**

The two came up to the girl. Terra grinned and Ven, who grinned back before turning on a radio he was holding. Ven set the radio on his head as some jazzy music started playing and Terra began to sing;

"_Hey girl~  
What's your name~"_

"Huh?" The assumed girl faced the two, only to reveal that _'she'_ wasn't actually a _'she'_, but was a _'he'_. Terra and Ven both turned white as snow, realizing that it was a girl. They slowly faced each other wide eyed.

**_"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"_**  
**_"GAAAAAAARRGHHHHHHHH!"_**

The two then ran away and as far as they legs could carry them, leaving a confused Marluxia.

**LESSON LEARNED: Uh. Make sure it's-uh-not a man.**

* * *

_Yes...Terra's Ex girlfriend was Lightning xD_


	5. Rule 4

"You know you still-"

"OKAY I KNOW I HAVEN'T!" Terra barked at the blonde, extremely agitated. The two were now on the outskirts of the park. He growled, as he continued to rant on poor Ventus. "You're just... Throwing off my game! You want me to get a girl! HUH?"

"Uh...Yeah?" Ven wasn't sure how to respond.

"ALRIGHT THEN! I'LL DO IT! WATCH!" Terra then ran off into the park, Ven following, but keeping a safe distance behind.

**_RULE #4:_ Don't limit your options.**

"Just.. Please go out with me!"

"No,"

"Please~?" Terra begged.

"No!" Maleficent barked, trying to take another bite into her delicious strawberry cheesecake.

"I can get you, like, another strawberry cheesecake!" Terra offered. Maleficent stared at the youngster in disbelief Couldn't he just leave her alone and get with some other younger girl? "I can get you like... Five!"

She sighed agitatedly, "Ugh, noo!"

**LESSON LEARNED: Women eat food.**


	6. Epilogue

_**X.X**_

From afar, Ventus stood watching his best and loyal friend fail at getting the old hag to become his girlfriend. He bit his lip as a tear fell from his eyes. "I'LL NEVER GOING TO GET ANY GIRLS!" He then began crying into his hands in complete despair . Almost immediately after he started sobbing, the jogger earlier they met, Aqua, was jogging by before seeing the poor child cry. Feeling sympathy for the blonde, she then ran to him holding him close to her chest, patting his back soothingly. Ven 'hugged' her crying even more.

"Aww, you poor baby~" She said rubbing his back.

_**X.X**_

Terra sighed as he once again failed to get a girlfriend. What was he doing wrong! Was is the attitude? No, that couldn't be it. He faced where Ven was, wondering how he was going to explain this one. His eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets seeing Ven hugging some woman..._his_ woman that is.

"What the-" Terra sprinted away from the old hag and towards his '_best friend_'.

"WAHHHH~! WHYYYYYY!" Ven sobbed even louder and harder, which was obviously fake. Well, to Terra that is. Ven held onto Aqua more tightly as Terra busted into the scene.

"WHAT THE _HELL_ ARE YOU DOING!" He bellowed, more specifically towards Aqua.

"This poor boy was crying and well..." she faced Terra's hard cold glare with soft eyes. "I gave him my phone number, so that he can call me whenever he wanted to talk about his feelings.

Terra glared at the blonde as he _'cried'_ into her arms. As Ven _'cried'_ he stared up at Terra showing a huge triumphant grin. His sobs sounded a lot more like laughter to brunette now.

**LESSON LEARNED: Crying always works.**


End file.
